Deep breath...calm down, Anil.

Once in a while there come days when I want to rip someone's face off more than usual. Today is one of those days. Rather than rant and rave, however, I'm going to write about some stuff that's had me fairly titilated recently although one last note on NBA free agency. In case I didn't make it clear, I am NOT a fan of Legay's decision to go to Souf Beach. I apologise for not making that more clear.

Inception. What the hell? Any other director other than Christopher Nolan would have taken this super-complicated idea and turned into a scatter-shot mess. He managed to focus on a few key aspects of the dream world without getting too caught-up in psychology (thank God) and left us with a masterpiece. I used to think that the kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun was a freak, but I have to admit, little bit of a man-crush going there. How does he make his hair sit so still? Who dresses him? Sigh... Anyway, if you haven't seen it, pop an aderall and check it out. At the very least it's a well-directed, well-written, well-acted, entertaining summer flick and ride the upside from there.

Summer cable series! True Blood, Mad Men and the artist formerly known as Entourage have made Sunday nights worth looking-forward-to. I usually tape Entourage and watch it last because it's way more potent than taking sleeping pills. That show fell off a cliff about three years ago and it seems as though it's reached terminal velocity. The only reason I say "seems like" is because it's hard to quantify the drag coefficient with a 26 minute HBO comedy. Thank god I gave up my dream of being an engineer when I did. I probably would have been pretty bad at it.

I've started reading a new imaginative fiction series (aka sci-fi nerd books) and while I usually like them regardless of how good they are, this one in particular has been exceptional. George R. R. Martin has already been labeled the "American Tolkien," which is beyond high priase for a writer of this genre although their styles are nothing alike. Whereas Tolkien focuses more on high-level Good vs. Evil themes, Martin is more concerned with human nature. The wheeling and dealing that takes place is genius and there are no such things as good guys and bad guys. For once, the author more or less lets the reader decide who they are rooting for. The first book in the seven book series is called "A Game Of Thrones" and HBO is actually turning it into a series starting in 2011. They've already filmed the pilot and have started production on the rest. I'm on the fourth of what will be seven books and he's currently writing the fifth one although he's been working on it since 2005. I am starting to panick that once I finish it I will start to suffer from withdrawal. My hunch is that he's waiting for some tail-wind with the TV show and will announce a release date when the hype has taken over. Some people think he got bored and stopped writing it which would be a travesty given its quality. I can't see how that's possible since he updates his blog daily re: casting for the show and is clearly deeply invested in making it a success but my fingers are crossed, regardless.

English Premier League football is starting in two and a half weeks and it can't come soon enough. The World Cup has left me craving soccer to the extent that I tried watching a Seattle vs DC United game...I turned it off after eight minutes. MLS is trying and I think they're making decent progress but we're still two World Cups away from having a high-class league in this country which is why I will be waking up at 8am on Saturday mornings to watch Liverpool lose every week. I spend at least an hour a day reading about transfer gossip and praying that Lucas Leiva leaves L'Pool (addition by subtraction), clones himself 18 times and signs for free with every other team in the EPL. That alone would put the Reds in the top three (subtraction by addition) and it's only a matter of staying healthy after that.

Next month I've got a wedding in Cleveland, Ohio and will have a full-report on the damage caused by Legay. I also have a potential trip to Vegas since Venetian clearly aren't doing so hot and need me to inject some life into the $25 Blackjack pit. I get free room offers at least once a day and am doing my best to resist but my utter lack of willpower is starting to take its toll. Until then...

Words cannot do justice

to how gay Legay James is. I'm sorry if you are gay and you are reading this because now that word has new meaning. Just know that I didn't do this to you, the same guy who decided to hand the alpha badge to Duhwayne Wade did. Fuck him. He's not worth your anger.

Thoughts on the Southern Hemisphere

South Africa is basically California but with much smarter people. Joberg=LA, Durban=San Diego, Napa=Stellenbosch and Cape Town=San Francisco. The food was exceptional and the white people with funny accents were very friendly and accommodating. I was shocked to see how much money the country put into revamping their stadiums. I only went to the ones in Durban and Cape Town, but they are beauties. Soccer City in Johannesburg and the one in Port Elizabeth look amazing, as well. My question is, what are they going to do with them after the Cup? I know there are competitive football and rugby leagues, but they can't be deserving of those kinds of venues. I guess we will have to see. The only thing that shocked me even more than the stadiums were how cheap everything was (especially the alcohol). The Jack in a Jack and Coke is cheaper than the Coke! It was a challenge to spend a ton of money even at the nicest restaurants and the food and service is par with NY.

I would totally go back there on one condition: No football.

If I have to have a vuvuzela blared in my face one more time I'll chew my ears off. Don't ask me how. I'll fucking do it. They were the single most irritating thing about the World Cup other than the refs' ineptitude. The locals who actually knew how to use them and produced a sound that didn't remind me of a fart were fine. It was the drunk foreigners who turned what could have been a cool gimmick into a cluster fuck of bodily gas. One of the great things about being at a football match live are the chants and songs of the fans. It was non-existant at this World Cup because they were drowned out by or distracted by the vuvuzelas. What a shame.

Other than that, South Africa is an amazing place; especially Cape Town - it has retirement destination written all over it. As far as World Cups are concerned, I'll be in Brazil for sure and pray that they have some device less annoying than a vuvu to amuse themselves with. I suppose it's back to my old routine and not caring about where Lebron, Wade, Bosh and Amare all end up this summer. I find it pretty absurd that a bunch of guys can just hijack a sport and decide where they are all going to play. The joke will be on them when their teams still stink and the Thunder and Lakers are the best teams in the league because one built through the draft and the other cheats.